As many of you already know, Bob left for his trip on Oct. 3, 2010 at 2:04 AM. It was a wonderful send off that we will remember for ever. Bob was surrounded by love of friends and family.
At 1:30 I got the uncontrollable urge to make chocolate chip cookies. I had no idea why I had this urge, I just did. I announced to everyone that I had to make cookies and Pat came with me to help. I found a mix of peanut butter cookies and Pat said that would be perfect with chocolate chips, since Bob’s favorite candy is peanut butter cups.
Pat and I made cookies and the smell of fresh cookies filled the house. It was a warm, happy smell. Tina went in to check on her father and came out and told me that the cookies were almost done. I went in the house, took the cookies out of the oven, placed them on a plate, and put the last batch in the oven. I walked down to Bob.
“Pop, I made you cookies, and I sure hope you can smell them,” I said. I rubbed his head and held his hand. He laid there and took his last breath with me. I couldn’t believe that he waited for me, and the smell of cookies.
We then all gathered around his bed, and shed a small tear knowing there would be no new memories made with Bob on this earth. We all hugged and then it was like a heavy vale was lifted.
So life moves on with a blessed past. There will be a gathering of friends and family at the house the first weekend of November. Bob loved cookouts and fishing and we are going to remember him the way he wanted to be remembered. We will be sitting in the back yard, telling stories, fishing, and eating hamburgers, his favorite meal. We will end the evening with fireworks so he and Joan will be able to look down and smile along with us with pride and joy.
We will latter, during the summer take his ashes to Hazard, Kentucky and lay him to rest beside Joan. We will let everyone know when this date will be when we are aware of dates and times.
His obituary was placed in the Lexington, Harold and read as followed:
CHIPLEY Robert "Bob", 80, passed away quietly on Sun, Oct 3, 2010. After serving his country in the USMC, Bob was a lifelong firefighter starting his career in Lexington in 1952. He moved to Orlando in 1971 and was the first fire chief at Walt Disney World. His vast experience included working as the Florida State Fire Marshal, Director of Florida firefighters training facility in Ocala and finally, Chief of the Port Orange Fire Dept. Bob was a dedicated and loving family man. He leaves a wonderful legacy including three children, Robin, Rob, and Tina; eight grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. He also leaves his brothers, Dave and Ronnie and their wives, Lois and Garnetta. Bob's family takes great joy knowing that he is finally at peace and home with his loving wife, Joan who passed in 1994. They are holding hands and smiling down on us.
We have asked instead of flowers for donations to be sent to the following places:
“Remembering the Brave” This is an organization remembering and honoring families of fallen soldiers.
http://rememberingthebrave.org/
“Vitas Hospice” this group took wonderful care of us and Bob at the end of his life.
http://www.vitascharityfund.org/
I can’t thank all of you enough for your love and devotion you gave Bob and our family. I know that Bob has a clear mind and is now aware of all the things that we did for him, and all the love he was sent by friends and family far and near. I am so blessed and honored to have been the one to take care of him. Like I told one of the Hospice nurses, “I can’t say, Let’s do it again, but I certainly will say, I Would definitely do it again, without hesitation.”
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Extra, Extra --NY Times Headlines
So much has happened in the last six weeks that I feel like I’ve been on a trip around the world. I will try my best to get you all caught up.
After Sarah’s birthday, Bob went into full blown Parkinson’s dementia. We have always been dealing with behavior problems, no sleep, and some confusion, but this was ridiculous. It was like we were living in a nightmare and couldn’t wake up from it. Hospice was trying to work with us to get him under control. Medications were changed so much and fast I couldn’t keep up with what I was giving and when. I had to start looking at my medication chart that I keep for him every day. He also was beginning to look like he had been in a horrible accident. Bruises covered his arms and legs and it was hard to tell the new bruises from the old bruises.
Suddenly I found myself not taking photos of Bob for memories, but for documentation. I was taking photos of falls, injuries, and things he was doing at night to show Doctors and Nurses as they came to check on him. Grabbing the camera to take a photo wasn’t fun any more. It was beginning to be a chore and not pleasant.
I kept telling Bob over and over he had to be careful. “It’s only going to take one good fall.” I would tell him. Bob so wanted his independence though and would still get up and walk and do things when he wasn’t suppose to.
Well, that one good fall happened last week. Last Tuesday he got up and walked back to his bedroom and was looking through his dresser drawers. He turned, got his feet tangled, and fell. He had worn his angels out and this time they let him slip through their fingers and he hit the floor hard. He was taken to the hospital and we quickly learned that Bob had broken his hip.
On Wednesday, Bob had surgery and on Friday, he was sent home back to hospice. Bob did very well with the surgery, but he is not going to recover from this. He is being kept very comfortable and we are doing everything we can for him.
We have all had our emotional roller coaster ride. One minute we are laughing, and the next moment we start crying. Sarah is such a great kid and she told me the other day, “Mom, stop looking at Pop-Pop with your eyes and start looking at him with your heart and soul. If you will do that you will see that he is ready and you need to let his body go.” Wow, those were words of wisdom.
Last night Bob told me he needed a travel carry-on bag because he is getting ready to go on a trip in a couple of weeks. He kept telling me that he needed my help to pack. I told him, he was already packed and everything was already taken care of where he’s going.
He then told me that he wanted me to post his trip in the NY Times. I found that strange and asked if he didn’t mean the Lexington Harold, and he told me that was a good one also, but the NY Times was a bigger paper and more people would see it. He wanted it on the head lines. I told him I would take care of it.
As family and friends we are selfish and want Bob to stay with us forever and not complete his journey here on this earth, but if we stop looking with our eyes we will see that his journey is finish and it’s time for him to more on.
We are going to be blessed with hopefully, a few more weeks with him and we will cherish these last moments and use them to reflect back on memories of loved ones that he is about to be reunited with.
I will keep everyone informed the best that I can. If he is having a good day and can talk I will have him call people, we will just have to wait and see how things go. Please still send him your love because he can still feel it even if you are far way.
After Sarah’s birthday, Bob went into full blown Parkinson’s dementia. We have always been dealing with behavior problems, no sleep, and some confusion, but this was ridiculous. It was like we were living in a nightmare and couldn’t wake up from it. Hospice was trying to work with us to get him under control. Medications were changed so much and fast I couldn’t keep up with what I was giving and when. I had to start looking at my medication chart that I keep for him every day. He also was beginning to look like he had been in a horrible accident. Bruises covered his arms and legs and it was hard to tell the new bruises from the old bruises.
Suddenly I found myself not taking photos of Bob for memories, but for documentation. I was taking photos of falls, injuries, and things he was doing at night to show Doctors and Nurses as they came to check on him. Grabbing the camera to take a photo wasn’t fun any more. It was beginning to be a chore and not pleasant.
I kept telling Bob over and over he had to be careful. “It’s only going to take one good fall.” I would tell him. Bob so wanted his independence though and would still get up and walk and do things when he wasn’t suppose to.
Well, that one good fall happened last week. Last Tuesday he got up and walked back to his bedroom and was looking through his dresser drawers. He turned, got his feet tangled, and fell. He had worn his angels out and this time they let him slip through their fingers and he hit the floor hard. He was taken to the hospital and we quickly learned that Bob had broken his hip.
On Wednesday, Bob had surgery and on Friday, he was sent home back to hospice. Bob did very well with the surgery, but he is not going to recover from this. He is being kept very comfortable and we are doing everything we can for him.
We have all had our emotional roller coaster ride. One minute we are laughing, and the next moment we start crying. Sarah is such a great kid and she told me the other day, “Mom, stop looking at Pop-Pop with your eyes and start looking at him with your heart and soul. If you will do that you will see that he is ready and you need to let his body go.” Wow, those were words of wisdom.
Last night Bob told me he needed a travel carry-on bag because he is getting ready to go on a trip in a couple of weeks. He kept telling me that he needed my help to pack. I told him, he was already packed and everything was already taken care of where he’s going.
He then told me that he wanted me to post his trip in the NY Times. I found that strange and asked if he didn’t mean the Lexington Harold, and he told me that was a good one also, but the NY Times was a bigger paper and more people would see it. He wanted it on the head lines. I told him I would take care of it.
As family and friends we are selfish and want Bob to stay with us forever and not complete his journey here on this earth, but if we stop looking with our eyes we will see that his journey is finish and it’s time for him to more on.
We are going to be blessed with hopefully, a few more weeks with him and we will cherish these last moments and use them to reflect back on memories of loved ones that he is about to be reunited with.
I will keep everyone informed the best that I can. If he is having a good day and can talk I will have him call people, we will just have to wait and see how things go. Please still send him your love because he can still feel it even if you are far way.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Bob's progress
Well it’s been a couple of rough weeks, but we are still hanging in there. Sarah had her 16th birthday. We surprised her with a hot air balloon ride. It was a wonderful day. Pat came and sat with Bob while Tina, Rob, Sarah, and I went off for the morning. Great thanks and love goes out to Pat for allowing us to spend this special time with Sarah. She would have loved to have her Uncle and Grandfather with her, but Bob would not have been able to survive the day.
Bob had taken another turn for the worse. His behavior had gotten to be almost unbearable. He had gotten mean and aggressive. The doctor was forced to put him on an antipsychotic medication to control him. This has helped to a certain degree, but we are still having issues. He now requires 24 hour adult care. Sarah had been able to sit with him for an hour or so while Rob and I went to dinner once a week. That is no longer the case. He is doing things that she can’t take care of and needs an adult.
Hospice has been called in for us, but at this time he gets limited service from them. They come in once a week for about an hour. As time goes on they will give more and more help. Many people think that Hospice is only called in at the end of life and that isn’t true anymore. They can be with a family for three and four years sometimes. They get to know the family and help out more and more as the patient gets worse.
So what exactly is Bob doing? Well, I won’t go into all of it, because honestly, you just don’t want to know; but some of it is, trying to sit down in his chair when he is five feet from the chair. Then he falls on top of the chair and says we pushed him. He gets up at two AM and moves the toilet safety seat from the bathroom out in the hall. He refuses to eat dinner until we have to bribe, and threaten him with taking things away. If Rob is home he follows him everywhere and if Rob gets up to walk across the room he yells for him and tells him not to leave him. Yes, it has been a challenge.
While we try to sympathize with him, it gets hard because it is very frustrating. We are still working with the doctors to get some medication that will work for him. It will eventually get worked out. Tensions rise in the house, and we do explode every now and then. We go outside or retreat to our rooms until we are better and go back to deal with it again. And no, we don’t feel like saints, even though we have been told many times that is what we are. Many times we feel like devils because we have yelled, fussed, and fumed.
It’s not all bad though. There are times that we have good moments with him. He will say something funny, or Rob will sit and watch a movie with him. He will remember something from the past and tell us a story from when he was young. Those are good times and we relish in those moments. He was good for Pat on Sarah’s birthday, and we even went out as a whole family for dinner that evening.
Keep him in your thoughts. Foot ball season is fast approaching. I don’t know if he will be able to follow the games, we will just have to wait and see. He used to love watching sports, now they are confusing to him.
Bob had taken another turn for the worse. His behavior had gotten to be almost unbearable. He had gotten mean and aggressive. The doctor was forced to put him on an antipsychotic medication to control him. This has helped to a certain degree, but we are still having issues. He now requires 24 hour adult care. Sarah had been able to sit with him for an hour or so while Rob and I went to dinner once a week. That is no longer the case. He is doing things that she can’t take care of and needs an adult.
Hospice has been called in for us, but at this time he gets limited service from them. They come in once a week for about an hour. As time goes on they will give more and more help. Many people think that Hospice is only called in at the end of life and that isn’t true anymore. They can be with a family for three and four years sometimes. They get to know the family and help out more and more as the patient gets worse.
So what exactly is Bob doing? Well, I won’t go into all of it, because honestly, you just don’t want to know; but some of it is, trying to sit down in his chair when he is five feet from the chair. Then he falls on top of the chair and says we pushed him. He gets up at two AM and moves the toilet safety seat from the bathroom out in the hall. He refuses to eat dinner until we have to bribe, and threaten him with taking things away. If Rob is home he follows him everywhere and if Rob gets up to walk across the room he yells for him and tells him not to leave him. Yes, it has been a challenge.
While we try to sympathize with him, it gets hard because it is very frustrating. We are still working with the doctors to get some medication that will work for him. It will eventually get worked out. Tensions rise in the house, and we do explode every now and then. We go outside or retreat to our rooms until we are better and go back to deal with it again. And no, we don’t feel like saints, even though we have been told many times that is what we are. Many times we feel like devils because we have yelled, fussed, and fumed.
It’s not all bad though. There are times that we have good moments with him. He will say something funny, or Rob will sit and watch a movie with him. He will remember something from the past and tell us a story from when he was young. Those are good times and we relish in those moments. He was good for Pat on Sarah’s birthday, and we even went out as a whole family for dinner that evening.
Keep him in your thoughts. Foot ball season is fast approaching. I don’t know if he will be able to follow the games, we will just have to wait and see. He used to love watching sports, now they are confusing to him.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
He Caught a Fish!
Rob took Bob down to the lake this last week and told him he needed to fish some. Bob would cast and then stop and pull some weeds and then cast again. I went down and threw a few casts with him and didn’t catch anything.
I went back into the house to finish up dinner and Rob was out on the back porch grilling out some ribs. All of a sudden Bob started yelling for his brother, Dave. Rob went running towards the lake.
“Pop, what’s the matter?” asked Rob.
“I got one,” Bob replied.
Well, to be honest Rob didn’t really think his dad had a fish because he was all tangled up in the weeds. The only set of weeds on the beach since we had it cleaned off and of course Bob was pulling his line right smack dab in the middle of them.
Rob took the line and started to reel the line in honestly thinking there wasn’t anything on the end of it. Suddenly, there was a large splash and a big bass came jumping out of the weeds.
“Pop, you really do have a fish, do you want to reel him in, or do you want me to do it?” Rob asked.
“Pal, I don’t think I could get him in if I tried and I sure don’t want to loose him. Get him in for me,” Bob replied.
Well, Rob reeled him in through the weeds and then came and tapped on the window holding him up for me to see. I was so surprised. How cool was that? Bob talked about that bass all night long.
Bob goes to the doctor this week, regular and neurologist. Let’s hope for some good reports. He’s been having some slight problems the last couple of weeks with his memory and behavior. Hopefully, the doctors will be able to work together to get some things worked out.
Keep him in your thoughts this week.
I went back into the house to finish up dinner and Rob was out on the back porch grilling out some ribs. All of a sudden Bob started yelling for his brother, Dave. Rob went running towards the lake.
“Pop, what’s the matter?” asked Rob.
“I got one,” Bob replied.
Well, to be honest Rob didn’t really think his dad had a fish because he was all tangled up in the weeds. The only set of weeds on the beach since we had it cleaned off and of course Bob was pulling his line right smack dab in the middle of them.
Rob took the line and started to reel the line in honestly thinking there wasn’t anything on the end of it. Suddenly, there was a large splash and a big bass came jumping out of the weeds.
“Pop, you really do have a fish, do you want to reel him in, or do you want me to do it?” Rob asked.
“Pal, I don’t think I could get him in if I tried and I sure don’t want to loose him. Get him in for me,” Bob replied.
Well, Rob reeled him in through the weeds and then came and tapped on the window holding him up for me to see. I was so surprised. How cool was that? Bob talked about that bass all night long.
Bob goes to the doctor this week, regular and neurologist. Let’s hope for some good reports. He’s been having some slight problems the last couple of weeks with his memory and behavior. Hopefully, the doctors will be able to work together to get some things worked out.
Keep him in your thoughts this week.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
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