This is a small note since the summer is here. There are many people that are planning their summer trips and want to come and visit with Bob. Rob and I are delighted that he is going to have so many visitors this summer. Please remember that I work three days a week and our daughter stays with her Grandfather those days. We ask that there be no visitors those three days of the week. Bob calls me the warden because he says I make the rules for him, but honestly, this request, is more for the safety of our daughter than it is a rule for Bob.
Also, Bob has a very hard time with days and the sense of time. So if you tell him you are planning on paying a visit, like a small child he can’t remember when that date is and worries that it is very near, when it is weeks away. He remembers you are coming and he is excited about your visit, but he can’t comprehend when your visit may be. On a good day, he has no problems with dates, on a bad day, it is every twenty minutes he is asking when an appointment is coming up.
Bob has a one week calendar in his room that we write on when something important is coming up. That way we can mark the days off so he can see when the event is near. Please let Rob and I know when you get your vacation plans finalized and we will mark them on our calendar and then the week before your visit we will mark it on Bob’s calendar. That way he will not be confused to when and who is coming to visit.
We look forward to seeing so many of you this summer, and hope you all have a safe trip down.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Doctor Visit
Bob went to the doctor Friday. When I explained that we were having trouble with sun downing and night issues she looked at me and said, “Well, I think it is time for a nursing home.” I looked at her and said, “That is not an option.” She looked at me and said, “Then what about assisted living?”
“He already lives in assisted living,” I replied. She looked at me blankly. She then looked back at his chart. “He lives at home with his son, my daughter, and me. We provide his meals, baths, medicine, help him get dressed, and take him to appointments. He already lives in assisted living.” I answered calmly. “May I ask you why you think he needs a nursing home?” I asked.
She looked at me and replied, “Well, it is apparent that he is a burden to your family.”
Now, this is when I about came off the chair. How dare this woman speak about Pop in front of him like he was a rag doll that needed to be recycled. In a society that throws everything away and gets everything new, I believe we have lost the regard for human life.
I took a deep breath, looked the doctor straight into her eyes, and replied, “Was not his son a burden to this man when he was young? Did he not have to work extra hours to pay for things for his son? Did he not have to give certain things up for his family as they grew? Was that not a burden to him as a young man? He has earned my respect and devotion because without this man I would not have a husband. He is not a burden to me, but a life that deserves my attention.”
I then went on to inform the good doctor that I wanted a referral to a neurologist. She was reluctant, but knew I would not give up until she gave it to me. I do not have that appointment yet, hopefully I will be able to make the appointment Monday.
She did give him a new prescription for sun downing. It seemed to work the first night. The second night we had problems again. So it is a hit and miss with this medication. I don’t think we will get it straight until we see the specialist.
This current doctor wants to see him in August for another regular appointment. Part of me says ‘phooey’ on this doctor. I wouldn’t want him to be a burden to her. The other part says, she is a doctor and needs to see him and to just wait till we see the specialist and go from there.
This week I give you a collection of photos of all the ‘burdens’ Bob has had throughout his life. Isn’t it wonderful that he never gave up on any of them? When Bob needs 24 hour ‘nursing care’ we will know, and he will be placed in a facility that will care for him, that time is a long ways off.
“He already lives in assisted living,” I replied. She looked at me blankly. She then looked back at his chart. “He lives at home with his son, my daughter, and me. We provide his meals, baths, medicine, help him get dressed, and take him to appointments. He already lives in assisted living.” I answered calmly. “May I ask you why you think he needs a nursing home?” I asked.
She looked at me and replied, “Well, it is apparent that he is a burden to your family.”
Now, this is when I about came off the chair. How dare this woman speak about Pop in front of him like he was a rag doll that needed to be recycled. In a society that throws everything away and gets everything new, I believe we have lost the regard for human life.
I took a deep breath, looked the doctor straight into her eyes, and replied, “Was not his son a burden to this man when he was young? Did he not have to work extra hours to pay for things for his son? Did he not have to give certain things up for his family as they grew? Was that not a burden to him as a young man? He has earned my respect and devotion because without this man I would not have a husband. He is not a burden to me, but a life that deserves my attention.”
I then went on to inform the good doctor that I wanted a referral to a neurologist. She was reluctant, but knew I would not give up until she gave it to me. I do not have that appointment yet, hopefully I will be able to make the appointment Monday.
She did give him a new prescription for sun downing. It seemed to work the first night. The second night we had problems again. So it is a hit and miss with this medication. I don’t think we will get it straight until we see the specialist.
This current doctor wants to see him in August for another regular appointment. Part of me says ‘phooey’ on this doctor. I wouldn’t want him to be a burden to her. The other part says, she is a doctor and needs to see him and to just wait till we see the specialist and go from there.
This week I give you a collection of photos of all the ‘burdens’ Bob has had throughout his life. Isn’t it wonderful that he never gave up on any of them? When Bob needs 24 hour ‘nursing care’ we will know, and he will be placed in a facility that will care for him, that time is a long ways off.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Bob has taken another downward turn. The first week after his Mother’s death he seemed to handle the news well. Although it bothered me that he really showed no emotion. He only twice got a little tearful while talking with his brother, Dave, or his niece, Lesa. Other than that he really did not show any feelings at all. The second week is another story though.
Bob started acting out on the weekend telling us that the pipes in his room were leaking; there was water on the floor, he was seeing people again, the list goes on and on. These all happen in the evening after 4PM. On one occasion I was talking with Tina, Bob’s daughter, on the phone when he had such an episode. She listened as I talked Bob through the event. She couldn’t really do much, but asked me to call her if I needed anything.
The days went on and on Monday Sarah had issues with him while I was at work, and then that night he really acted out with me. I had finally hit my breaking point and stayed home from work Tuesday and phoned the Doctor. They told me his regular doctor was of course on vacation and I wouldn’t be able to get him in for a week. I asked to speak to the case worker and explained to her my situation. She has been following Bob’s case since before he broke his neck. She spoke to the doctor on call and told me to try increasing one of his medications. I did.
Wednesday morning I get up, get ready for work, go to tell Sarah bye, and look down the hall at Bob’s room. I always check on him before I leave. It is like a Mother checking to make sure the children are still in bed. Bob wasn’t in bed. Instead he was up, bed made, sitting in his chair, TV blaring, looking at me standing in the doorway stunned. “Hey, what’s on the agenda?” he asked me.
Holy Toledo, I thought to myself. Normally, this man sleeps till 10:00 and then you have to go and wake him up. Here it is 6:30 and he is wired. I walked in, sat on his bed, and started talking to him. I asked him how he was, what was he watching, what would he like to do today, simple questions. Normally, he would not be able to answer these questions. He would stumble and trip over his own words. Not this morning! He answered every question and even asked me some questions to go along with mine. It was great!
I got his coffee, called my work, told them I needed the day off. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Sarah with him when he was totally out of character. She is very good with him, but when he is unpredictable, that is not good at all.
As the morning progressed he was more and more alert. I asked if he would like to go to Sea World for the day. His eyes sparkled and he told me yes. I got him ready, called Pat and Tina and asked if they would like to join us. They started to say yes, but remembered they had other priorities they needed to fulfill and told me to be very careful and if I need them they were a phone call away.
Sea World was a hit and miss. We only stayed a few hours. We had good experiences and some bad ones. We left after a few hours, picked up lunch, and came home. After arriving home I called Tina to let her know how the day was progressing and telling her I was glad I stayed home from work today because I didn’t feel right about leaving him with Sarah. Right at that moment Sarah yelled for me to come that Pop had fallen. I threw the phone to Sarah and ran back to Bob’s room. He was lying on his left side propped up with his elbow looking at me. I yelled down the hall to Sarah telling her to tell Aunt Tina and Uncle Pat to get to the house. Tina and Pat were at the house in less than five minutes.
Bob was embarrassed and told me he didn’t need Pat and Tina. I explained to him that it was either them or 911. I could not get him off the floor without help and I need people who would be able to tell if something was broken. He could easily have a hairline fracture in his hip and not know it till we started moving him.
Pat and Tina got there, came straight back to the room and the language of love started flowing. Pat squatted down so that he was on the same level with Bob. For about fifteen minutes he stayed in that position talking to Pop and asking him questions. Pat was in a horrible motorcycle accident the same time that Bob last year broke his neck. They two accidents actually happened on the same day. Pat has extreme vertigo as a result from that accident. He has gone through endless therapy sessions learning how to deal with his condition.
After Pat felt that Bob was alright to get up off the floor, Pat and Tina lifted him up while I checked him over. He had a scrape on his elbow and a small scrape on his knee. Other than that he seemed fine. Pat then worked with Pop for another ½ hour teaching him how to walk without getting dizzy. One thing Pat did point out is that Bob had too many patterns in the room. His bed spread and rugs were too busy. We changed the bedspread to a solid and today we are going to change the rugs in his room.
Bob has a doctor appointment this next Wed. in the morning. I am hoping that we can straighten out his medication and hopefully get him into a specialist at that time. I can’t thank Pat and Tina enough for their help this week. I don’t think I could have done it without them.
Since Bob does not handle stress well these days we are asking people to only share happy things with Bob. Please no news of death, sickness, fights in the family, etc. etc. It is apparent that these things bother him on a level that we can not help him on. Please feel free to pass important news on to Rob, Tina, Pat and I and we will choose to share the information with Bob or hold it for a future date.
Bob started acting out on the weekend telling us that the pipes in his room were leaking; there was water on the floor, he was seeing people again, the list goes on and on. These all happen in the evening after 4PM. On one occasion I was talking with Tina, Bob’s daughter, on the phone when he had such an episode. She listened as I talked Bob through the event. She couldn’t really do much, but asked me to call her if I needed anything.
The days went on and on Monday Sarah had issues with him while I was at work, and then that night he really acted out with me. I had finally hit my breaking point and stayed home from work Tuesday and phoned the Doctor. They told me his regular doctor was of course on vacation and I wouldn’t be able to get him in for a week. I asked to speak to the case worker and explained to her my situation. She has been following Bob’s case since before he broke his neck. She spoke to the doctor on call and told me to try increasing one of his medications. I did.
Wednesday morning I get up, get ready for work, go to tell Sarah bye, and look down the hall at Bob’s room. I always check on him before I leave. It is like a Mother checking to make sure the children are still in bed. Bob wasn’t in bed. Instead he was up, bed made, sitting in his chair, TV blaring, looking at me standing in the doorway stunned. “Hey, what’s on the agenda?” he asked me.
Holy Toledo, I thought to myself. Normally, this man sleeps till 10:00 and then you have to go and wake him up. Here it is 6:30 and he is wired. I walked in, sat on his bed, and started talking to him. I asked him how he was, what was he watching, what would he like to do today, simple questions. Normally, he would not be able to answer these questions. He would stumble and trip over his own words. Not this morning! He answered every question and even asked me some questions to go along with mine. It was great!
I got his coffee, called my work, told them I needed the day off. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Sarah with him when he was totally out of character. She is very good with him, but when he is unpredictable, that is not good at all.
As the morning progressed he was more and more alert. I asked if he would like to go to Sea World for the day. His eyes sparkled and he told me yes. I got him ready, called Pat and Tina and asked if they would like to join us. They started to say yes, but remembered they had other priorities they needed to fulfill and told me to be very careful and if I need them they were a phone call away.
Sea World was a hit and miss. We only stayed a few hours. We had good experiences and some bad ones. We left after a few hours, picked up lunch, and came home. After arriving home I called Tina to let her know how the day was progressing and telling her I was glad I stayed home from work today because I didn’t feel right about leaving him with Sarah. Right at that moment Sarah yelled for me to come that Pop had fallen. I threw the phone to Sarah and ran back to Bob’s room. He was lying on his left side propped up with his elbow looking at me. I yelled down the hall to Sarah telling her to tell Aunt Tina and Uncle Pat to get to the house. Tina and Pat were at the house in less than five minutes.
Bob was embarrassed and told me he didn’t need Pat and Tina. I explained to him that it was either them or 911. I could not get him off the floor without help and I need people who would be able to tell if something was broken. He could easily have a hairline fracture in his hip and not know it till we started moving him.
Pat and Tina got there, came straight back to the room and the language of love started flowing. Pat squatted down so that he was on the same level with Bob. For about fifteen minutes he stayed in that position talking to Pop and asking him questions. Pat was in a horrible motorcycle accident the same time that Bob last year broke his neck. They two accidents actually happened on the same day. Pat has extreme vertigo as a result from that accident. He has gone through endless therapy sessions learning how to deal with his condition.
After Pat felt that Bob was alright to get up off the floor, Pat and Tina lifted him up while I checked him over. He had a scrape on his elbow and a small scrape on his knee. Other than that he seemed fine. Pat then worked with Pop for another ½ hour teaching him how to walk without getting dizzy. One thing Pat did point out is that Bob had too many patterns in the room. His bed spread and rugs were too busy. We changed the bedspread to a solid and today we are going to change the rugs in his room.
Bob has a doctor appointment this next Wed. in the morning. I am hoping that we can straighten out his medication and hopefully get him into a specialist at that time. I can’t thank Pat and Tina enough for their help this week. I don’t think I could have done it without them.
Since Bob does not handle stress well these days we are asking people to only share happy things with Bob. Please no news of death, sickness, fights in the family, etc. etc. It is apparent that these things bother him on a level that we can not help him on. Please feel free to pass important news on to Rob, Tina, Pat and I and we will choose to share the information with Bob or hold it for a future date.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
A small report
There isn’t a whole lot to report on with Bob. He went to the dentist this last Thursday. He had a filling that needed fixing. The dentist told me that Bob doesn’t brush his teeth well and he doesn’t clean his dentures. I knew this, but besides brushing his teeth for him, I really don’t know what to do. The dentist told me that as long as we get him in every three months for a deep cleaning he should be alright. We just don’t want to have to pay for a new set of dentures.
Bob doesn’t do much of anything anymore. It is getting harder and harder for me to take him places. Because of that I have to wait for Rob to help me take him places.
Rob has been playing with Johnny and this last week the band played at the Harley Davidson dealership here in Orlando. Pat and Tina, Rob’s sister, came out and joined in on the festivities. They had some BBQ and some great hot weather. It sure seems a lot hotter this year from last.
Bob is wearing gloves on his hands now. The gloves cover his hands up so that he doesn’t pick at age spots and cause sores. He tells me that he actually like the gloves because they keep his hands warm and his fingers poke out so he can still use his hands. I was a little afraid he would take them off, but he says he likes them and keeps them on all the time. They were very inexpensive and I bought a dozen pairs so I keep them changed out quite a lot.
I don't have any new pictures to post this week. It has been hard without my computer. We are hopeful to have my computer back and running in a week or two.
Thanks to everyone who sent Bob sympathy cards this last week. He enjoyed getting mail. I have them set around his room.
Bob doesn’t do much of anything anymore. It is getting harder and harder for me to take him places. Because of that I have to wait for Rob to help me take him places.
Rob has been playing with Johnny and this last week the band played at the Harley Davidson dealership here in Orlando. Pat and Tina, Rob’s sister, came out and joined in on the festivities. They had some BBQ and some great hot weather. It sure seems a lot hotter this year from last.
Bob is wearing gloves on his hands now. The gloves cover his hands up so that he doesn’t pick at age spots and cause sores. He tells me that he actually like the gloves because they keep his hands warm and his fingers poke out so he can still use his hands. I was a little afraid he would take them off, but he says he likes them and keeps them on all the time. They were very inexpensive and I bought a dozen pairs so I keep them changed out quite a lot.
I don't have any new pictures to post this week. It has been hard without my computer. We are hopeful to have my computer back and running in a week or two.
Thanks to everyone who sent Bob sympathy cards this last week. He enjoyed getting mail. I have them set around his room.
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